Dumb Dream

capgun

This dumb dream
With little room to breathe

From the chest
Doomed to die I confess

Chorus says
Tragedy is senseless

Results show
No desire to end this

Chaotic
News breaks and our hearts freeze

No relief
Our hopes are upended

Uprooted
Youths gone this instance

Despondent
No succor, safe distance

Please now please
Desperate admittance

Run up, shout
Second guess this amendment

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to Who & for What

rolaids-adspoof

To who and for what
For what purpose, to what end
A trailer for your boat and a truck with which to pull it
Dinner sitting badly but antacids with which to null it
Things for your stuff
Such special instruments
Line your sepulcher
Toll for the bridge to the beyond?

From the outside looking in
One could easily be mistaken
Taken by the fact that I’ve got nothing to show for

Paused for the Tilt of an Axis

tenor

Speaking you can’t wait to hit the slopes bruh

What’re you doing right here, now huh?

 

Framed by a full-length mirror sis

Scoping out your brand new bikini fit

 

Independence day’s still months away

 

What exactly is the reason

That yer waiting for better seasons?

Like this moment isn’t worth noting

As if these breaths aren’t worth blowing

While yer waiting for the rain to stop

Kiddies outside do the puddle stomp

 

Too hot

Too cold

Much rain

No snow

 

In stasis

Impatience

 

Get off

Yer ass

Do shit

Spend cash

 

Meteors aren’t stalling

Tsunamis ain’t pausing

You’re rooted in place and still stonewalling?

Sexual Predation: It’s Not for You to Say

shush.jpg

The cavalcade of accusations continues. Predatory men of power are presently sweating, awaiting the possible reemergence of their past victims of sexual abuse and harassment. Other men are disgusted at best or apathetic at worst.

In the minds of men who are quick to righteously recoil at the onrushing deluge of claims of predatory behavior there lies a component that is essential to their perspective but is also ultimately fragile and tenuous. That component is the belief that they have never been an aggressor towards a woman.

Our lives can span decades and who can remember their every whim or unwanted advance? Men may find that if they delve deep into their own workplace, school and even sexual histories that they too might have taken advantage of, intimidated, or abused another person in some sexual way. No matter how much of a gentlemen a man thinks he is now does not erase or gloss over past grievances.

What I can say is that I personally have been too aggressive, too stupid and too slow in understanding that what I doing was wrong.

My views now don’t resemble the views I used to have. I would like to think I’ve always been respectful and the better of my male peers, but that’s not for me to say.

I most certainly engaged in the crass talk of teenage boys and young men which is to be expected but not excused. I want to say that I didn’t do any damage. That I didn’t strong-arm a woman into doing something she didn’t want to. That I didn’t make unwelcome sexual advances or that I didn’t speak in a way which was untoward. But that’s not for me to say.

It would be great to think that the men in my lives, be they friends, coworkers or relatives, were never prone to the same kind of sexual predation we see in each day’s news headlines. But that’s not for me to say.

What I can say is that I personally have been too aggressive, too stupid and too slow in understanding that what I doing was wrong.


I was still a teenager I think. There was a party at a friend’s apartment and at this party a friend that I had been nursing a crush on was in attendance. At some point in the evening we made out. I was not drinker at the time, nor was she. We slept near each other in the livingroom where several of our friends also slept and we periodically kissed during the night. I put my hand up her shirt and that was that, it went no further.

Oh, the idiocy of it. I was looking for solace when she was the one who had been groped.

The next morning I felt that something was off. She left abruptly in the morning and if we happened to exchange any words or not I can’t be sure. A few days later I went to meet with the same group of friends at a restaurant and was confronted by the friend who had hosted the party. She caught me quite off guard when told me she was pissed at me in front of our gathered friends. I was flabbergasted. I had no idea what she was talking about. Then she told me I had groped the aforementioned crush while she slept.

I rocked back on my heels as my mind reeled. Had I? Yes, I had put my hand up her shirt. Was it over or under her bra? Did that even matter? I flushed red and stammered.

Then I realized that I must not have known she was asleep. The room we were in at the time was perhaps not the pitchest of blacks, but it was entirely conceivable that if one were attempting to observe someone else in the dark you wouldn’t be able to tell if they were sleeping or not. I am as earnest now as I was then, I didn’t know she was sleeping when I did it.

My friend was still angry at me but took me at my word. My pathetic display of confusion perhaps had something to do with it. I don’t remember anything else from that night except that I raced home to instant message our mutual friend to tell her I had no idea and apologized until I was partway comforted by the knowledge that she believed me. Oh, the idiocy of it. I was looking for solace when she was the one who had been groped.

Too many men have been taking current events and weaponizing them for political points or just to give themselves a clear conscience.

Now, here’s the thing: I don’t know what kind of lingering effects, if any, that event had on her. The best-case scenario is that it was just another in a long string of idiot guys doing stuff to her that they shouldn’t be doing and she doesn’t remember it consciously or otherwise. But the thing that makes intentional or unintentional behavior particularly nasty is that more often than not, the man who overstepped his bounds moves on with his life and the woman is left to deal with the consequences, to pick up the pieces so-to-speak.

And many men will likely never know that they at one time or another crossed the line. They will live on in blissful ignorance of their own trespasses, kept secure by a simple lack of empathy.

Here’s another thing: I don’t know if that’s the lowest I’ve ever made a woman feel. I hope beyond hope that it is, that there’s nothing worse in my personal history than that. Not because I want to be free of the culpability of having created a victim, but because I hope no other woman was put in a spot where she thought less of herself because of something I did.

Too many men have been taking current events and weaponizing them for political points or just to give themselves a clear conscience. “Yeah, I said or did some shit I’m not proud of, but at least I’m not Harvey Weinstein.”

If you really want to show people you know what’s what, take a look back and ask yourself if you’ve always been on the right side of someone’s personal space. If you can say with your whole heart and a full throat that you’ve always been respectful, then I hope for your sake and the sake of the women in your past and present that you speak the truth. However, you must bear in mind that it’s not for you to say.


Alex Biscarner is a freelance writer living and teaching English in the Czech Republic. Connect with him on Twitter.

When Our Gods Hit the Ground

blow-up-Stalin-monument-prague

When our gods hit the ground

How hollow we will be

Knowing

Feeling

That we were always going to be

Let down

Pushed around

Cast aside so casually

We lifted them up

On altars neatly buffed

Came to rely

To be denied

Result of supplication

Rendered automation

Fury grows

Delivered blows

Against the font

Under the feet of icons

Marble bursts apart

Slides away

Down in a cascade

And our lords meet the floor

Stomped to smithereens

Whether we erect another totem

Remains to be seen